You know when life happens and all of a sudden a month or so has passed? Well, that has kind of happened. The plague hit our house hard between December and January...everyone got better, for 2 weeks at least. I now am congested and have a little cold, Ben had something, Eliza had a fever and has been coughing...but the intensity of these little illnesses is much less than the previous ones. Thank goodness, because seriously, it was all just too much.
But with that said, things just got tough in all aspects of life. It's like when one thing hits your wall and weakens your defense systems, all of a sudden it leaves cracks for other things to creep in and bring you down even more. And that just messes with your psyche like crazy. I lost energy, I lost time, I lost motivation to write, to practice hobbies I enjoy, to see people I enjoy seeing, to be fully myself. I started doubting myself and what I'm doing, started questioning whether I should remain at home with the kids or go back to work. I started to feel more and more like a failure in many areas of my life. When you don't sleep, and any remaining energy is used to care for little humans, that leaves you with very little else to give to any other part of life.
As things have generally calmed down and returned to normal, I'm trying to figure out how to get back to doing some of those things I enjoyed. The motivation isn't quite there yet, and I still feel rather scatter brained at times, but I need to start somewhere. This week I've been reading more during my downtime...this doesn't require too much thought and planning, I just find a place to sit and read, for pleasure. Next week I probably won't add too much else because we leave for our mission trip at the end of the week, and I'm not sure I need any additional things to stress or think about.
It also helps to have a few friends who will listen, love, and speak truth, even when it takes everything you have to get out and meet those friends. One thing at a time, baby steps, and slow forward progress is all I can do. I realize this is just a season, I don't need to make any big decisions right now, but I do need to keep moving forward and not in circles. What does that look like? Well, I'll let you know when I fully figure it out.
So this basically is just me rambling a little, trying to do something to move forward and get myself out of the rut. Happy Monday, enjoy your week friends.
Question: what do you to get out of a "rut" or make it through a not so great season of life?