Man, transitions are really tough, especially with kids. I knew moving would pose some challenges, but I'm not sure I was fully prepared. We have been out of our old townhouse for a week now. First we stayed at my dads for 2 nights, then we drove to California and have been with my mom since the 20th. We are staying here until the 30th, that afternoon I'll fly out with the kids to North Carolina...midnight is our arrival time, yikes! Even though we're in one place for 10 days, it's still different, and the kids can feel it.
Beckham has been out of sorts. He can go from super happy to crazy emotional in mere seconds. And I'm not just talking about the typical toddler emotional, this is way different than his normal behavior. It doesn't help that Ben left Friday morning to make the drive to NC with his dad...so now we not only have the emotions that come with change, but we have added emotions for daddy being gone. He'll just break down crying and I will ask if he needs a hug and he just falls into my arms crying "my daddy" or "my miss daddy." It's just heart breaking. I have really been trying to identify his emotions when he appears to get mad and at times it does seem to help and deescalates the situation, other times he just needs space so going to his room helps with that.
I'm doing what I can. I give hugs, I try not to lose my patience (which doesn't always work), I snuggle, I play, I tell him all about our new home and how his bike and bed will be waiting for him, we pray for daddy and his safe trip, we pray for grammie and Bapa because he prays for them daily, we snuggle with cars, we eat ice cream, we visit friends, we go swimming, we read...we try to do what's "normal" for us. Beckham recently (as in the last month or so) started asking me "mom you happy" whenever he wakes up, when I get upset with him, when I'm disciplining him, or randomly throughout the day. He now tells me when he's not happy, saying "no my happy" or he will say "no my nice". When I question why he's not happy it always has to do with missing daddy. It really pulls on my heart when he says he's not happy, I wish there was more I could do. I've been thinking about this though and maybe he says he misses dad because he doesn't know how to express anything else, like missing our house or being confused with where we are moving to, etc. So maybe he does miss his dad, but also misses his routines, his toys, his room, and is unsure of what's coming next, where this "new house" is or where all his things went.
Our days are like roller coasters, lots of ups and downs, but more exaggerated than normal. And adding in a 15 month old doesn't make things any easier. She is sweet and I would say is responding better because she's just so much younger, but she is attached to my soul! I can't go around the corner without her yelling "mommy, mommy"...or banging on the bathroom door while I shower, or barely letting anyone else hold her. I love the extra snuggles, but this mama is craving some space.
Yesterday was the first day since last Saturday that I had a chance to workout...and let me tell you, it was amazing! I just went to the small gym at my moms community center and it had the free weights that I needed to do an intense 45 min workout. I got to completely zone out and work hard and it felt so good! I'd say I was way more calm and prepared for the evening after sweating my brains out. I'm guessing this is how Beckham feels when he spends 15 minutes running up and down the little slope in my moms backyard or when he wants me to chase him throughout the house. So I taught him donkey kicks, plyo push-ups off the couch, jumping jacks...we did all sorts of jumps and twists to get our energy bugs out and then we read books to calm down before bed.
So this post is more for me to process all of this madness and to express the difficulty we've had, but also to help me see that my kids are doing pretty well and I'm doing pretty well and that we will definitely make it through. Although the next 5 days seem like an eternity, I know they will pass too quickly and will leave me wondering where the time went. And before we know it, we'll be sleeping in our new home, in our old beds.
I'm sitting here typing this as both kids have been flipping out in the room for the last hour or so for nap time. Both were tired, cranky, fed...but are fighting naps and I'm about to down my beer with a side of chocolate. :) It's all about balance though, right?!
Have any of you moved cross country with kids or gone through a big transition/change with little kids? Any insight or words of wisdom?